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The Hovpod ACX 52 No Brainer
Got so much cash (like me) you don't know what to do with it?
If you're even worth a fraction of a percent of what I am well... being the coolest person on the beach just got easy, even for you - loser. Being cool on the beach used to involve carrying a surf board, having a body to die for (like me), and a tan that would make you look like a sultana by the time you were 50. Now with the all new Hovpod ACX 52, all that coolth can be yours without the beautiful bod, you just need a fat wad of cash (roughly about what I made in the last 30 seconds to be precise). Jet Skis (that should come with the word 'plonker' stencilled on them) and motor boats, are just so yesterday - and of course so restricted to water, the Hov Pod will go wherever you want to take it. Power down the beach and impress the chicks, skim into the water, shoot over wetlands and marshes, up river estuaries, or even down the high street if you fancy a hefty fine and a few nights at Her Majesty's pleasure. No other vehicle has the versatility of a hovercraft, and this Hovpod ACX 52 is so delectably neat.
Powered by a two cylinder 2-Stroke 625cc engine, it'll reach speeds of between 40-45mph, and can carry a payload of 250kilos (i.e. about three adults). A full tank will give you about 2 hours at cruise speed, and it's as economical to run as a 50HP 2-stroke boat engine. Now you can nip to secluded beaches, and indeed onto them, with ease - hey how excellent would this be hanging off the back of your yacht! Now mariners need never be slaves to the tides, and imagine if you lived somewhere icy - going over iced lakes in this would be like dying and going to heaven (albeit a very cold one).
So you now can stop doing press-ups and lying under a sunlamp - for a smidge under 15,000 you'll have all the pulling power you need with this superb fanny magnet Hovpod ACX 52.
Delivery time for your own personal hovercraft is about three months - they're very popular and are made to order in the UK - not like this ramshackle garbage you get shoved down your throat by the Yanks; this is top quality GB workmanship at its best.